Guaranteed Humans in No I'm Not a Human

Bathroom · Night 7+

Do not run the usual eye or armpit test on him. Those two visitor signs are stuck on a guaranteed human, and he will not take the gloves off for a hand check. If you need proof of who he is, press him over several talks until he empties his pockets and shows a FEMA ID.

Widowed Woman, the Tourist, and Ex-Minister already occupy the bathroom he wants.

After several conversations, threaten him and he produces his FEMA identification. The embassy number belongs to Wireface, not to this man.

• Red eyes and fungal armpits are permanent. His photo can show red patches because he worked around visitors, and his pupils are slightly doubled.

• The full-release list fixes him as human even though the red eyes and fungal armpits never go away.

Bathroom · Night 4+

Let the scene be what it is. She is a fixed human, so the corpse in the bath, the washed-out skin, and the husband-shaped figure in her aura photo are not visitor evidence. After enough conversation she shows you an old photograph of the two of them.

Man in Hazmat, the Tourist, or Ex-Minister already using the bathroom stop her from coming in.

Several talks in, she shows the old couple photograph tied to Happier Days.

• Pale green-tinted skin, wide glassy pupils, a corpse in the bathtub, and an aura that looks like her husband hugging her from behind.

• Guaranteed human. The body in the bath and the second figure in her photo are grief, not a second visitor.

Living Room · Night 1+

He is the opening human, not a puzzle. Yellow teeth and a battered drinker's face are normal, and he is one of the few guests with no visitor signs to find. He only comes on Night 1, stands on the right side of the sofa, and five days of talk lead into A Very Sad Poem.

Best Son, Rockstar, or Taxi Driver can take the right-hand sofa seat on later nights, but he himself only exists on Night 1.

Talk to him five days in a row for A Very Sad Poem. He cannot be made to leave or die just by finishing his dialogue.

• Yellow teeth, a swollen drinker's face, and a long thin body are his normal appearance.

• Fixed human. The character page lists him among the only guests with no visitor signs.

Living Room · Night 7+

The burns are why he looks wrong, and they are also why he is safe. He is a guaranteed human on Night 7 and he is holding a FEMA notice. Take the notice whether you let him in immediately or accept it as the bribe he offers if you refuse.

He always hands over a FEMA notice, which the Welcome to FEMA route spends. His page says giving a notice back the next day is Hot Potato; the achievement list here instead says the notice has to go to a visitor.

• Burns, missing skin, and a disfigured face are the whole character. They are not a tell.

• Fixed human. He still carries the FEMA notice he was supposed to turn in at quarantine.

Office · Night 8+

Do not test them as if a clean result is available. All three cultists are guaranteed humans, and all three show dirty hands, red eyes, and fungal armpits on purpose. Keep every one of them alive and out of FEMA's hands until the leader returns if you want May Death Cleanse Us of Our Sins.

They take the office couch even if Morbid Romantic, Debtor, Deadbeat Mom, or Wounded Man is already there. FEMA or a visitor can still remove them later.

You cannot refuse the Night 8 drop-off. If all three are still alive when the leader comes back, accepting the ritual is the cult ending.

• Dirty hands, red sclera, and fungal armpits on every peon. Those sclera sprites are otherwise used for visitors.

• All three are fixed humans. Each one still has dirty hands, red eyes, and fungal armpits.

Office · Night 5+

She fails a careless symptom check and she is still always human. Red eyes, burned hands, and hairless armpits are the aftermath of the fire and the mob, not a visitor form. If you refuse to tell her to pull herself together, she can take the gun and shoot herself, which is the Martyr achievement.

Big Momma, Cheerful Man, Sleepless Man, or College Runaway in the armchair block the seat. She used to share the couch with the cultists.

If you never tell her to pull herself together, she can take the gun and shoot herself. Her page names that Martyr, while the achievement list here describes Martyr as sacrificing yourself for the other humans.

• Red eyes, burned hands, and hairless armpits. All three are listed as always present on this human.

• Fixed human. Red eyes, burned hands, and hairless armpits are still what you see.

Kitchen · Night 7+

There is no eye test, and the black photo with glowing sockets is still a human. He is guaranteed. He may bribe at the door. After several conversations he can be found hanged in the kitchen the next day, which his page ties to The Whisperer in Darkness.

Fortune Teller, Bearded Huntsman, or Leper Guy in the back kitchen chair stop him coming in.

Several talks, then opening the kitchen the next day, finds him dead. The character page names that as The Whisperer in Darkness. The achievement blurb on this site instead mentions a radio conversation, so the exact trigger is only partly agreed.

• No eyes to check, and an aura photo that is mostly black with glowing sockets.

• Fixed human. The empty sockets and the black photo are the trauma, not a visitor aura.

Kitchen · Night 1+

She is always human, first at the door looking for her father and again on Night 4 when she wants his place in the kitchen. There is no visitor version and no armpit test. Three conversations unlock her friend's phone number. If the couple or the teenager already have the kitchen, she will not come in until they are gone.

Husband and Wife, Ex-Con, or Parentless Teenager in the center of the kitchen keep her out. She will not enter while the couple or the girl in the cap is there.

Three talks unlock her friend's number. Calling after the friend has died gets no answer.

• You cannot check a child's armpits. A soft or unclear photo is not a reason to treat her as a visitor.

• Fixed human on both visits. There is no visitor form to compare.

Storage Room · Night 3+

The wires are not a visitor sign. He is a guaranteed human who does not speak your language, and the mouth stays shut until the wires are gone later. There is no published human-versus-visitor checklist because the role is fixed. After enough gesturing he hands you a paper with a foreign embassy number.

Surgeon or Creepy Guy in the center of the storage room block him. He is the stitched-mouth guest, not Man in Hazmat.

A few conversations and he gives you the foreign embassy phone number on a slip of paper.

• Wire holding the mouth shut, and wide startled eyes, are the character design.

• Fixed human. Early files contained a visitor corpse sprite that the final game does not use.